Make Time

Posted by Dad Enough

One of the best pieces of advice I give to parents new to the world of being a “special needs parent” is a question I was asked the first time I attended the Dads Talk group at the Arc Baltimore:

What do you do for fun, for yourself?

It’s not so easy, when we’re in this boat. We feel a need to keep track of our kids, and our days are filled with trips to therapy, with dealing with our children’s foibles. And while we might say that we do things “for ourselves”, that often includes running to the gym at a weird hour, early morning walks, or the occasional date night when you get respite or find a sitter who can deal with your kiddo.

But that’s not really what I’m talking about. Because while I love going out with my wife – to the theater, to the movies, or other things around – it’s not necessarily “for me”. And that’s where, as parents, we fail ourselves. Continue reading →

Ah, Luxury!

Posted by Dad Enough

One of the downers of being the parents of a child with Autism is that we feel like we can’t get out as frequently as other parents.

Now, I know that a lot of that is just our perception (coupled with the fact that the wife and I are probably too frugal for our own good). It’s hard to find a good sitter who can cope with both R – in the throes of the Terrible Threes – and the Monster, much less handle how the Monster’s not entirely verbal. So we’ve actually not had the chance to go out on date nights as frequently as we should like. Continue reading →

Back to the Grind

Posted by Dad Enough

Hey, everyone. I’m back from my little trip afield, and back to parenting again. (Okay, okay, so I’m going out tomorrow without the family, and then away again at the end of February for another bonspiel, but…)

Québec was very interesting. Setting aside all of the other things about the Winter World Masters Games themselves, I was glad to actually be able to do some talking about the other cause that (clearly) matters a lot to me – Autism. Continue reading →

Working Around It

Posted by Dad Enough

There are a lot of times that I hear the things that my friends do, and wonder if they realize how much they take for granted how easy it is to find childcare solutions for their NT kids when spontaneous opportunities for experiences come up.

It’s not to say, of course, that my wife and I are starved for opportunities to do things without the kids. We do (finally) have a fantastic, regular babysitter who the kids adore. My in-laws are also very gracious in watching the Monster and R on a regular basis when they can, when something out of the ordinary comes up…

On the other hand, though, I also hear how frequently some of them can simply arrange a sleep-over for the kids when something else comes up last minute. Continue reading →

Drive Yourself Crazy

Posted by Dad Enough

And while we’re all doing these wacky turns around our lives with the children in them, the ones who need extra help, it comes back to bite oneself in the backside.

One of the things I absolutely harp on when I’m in my support groups is that parents need to find an outlet away from their children, lest they go crazy. Continue reading →

So Much Paper

Posted by Dad Enough

As I mentioned a while back, the wife and I are hiring someone to watch the Monster and R while we’re out of town.

This is going to be our first vacation without the kids since… well, my sister’s wedding, back when we only had the Monster, and well before his diagnosis. (For reference, he was a 10 month old at the time, and stayed with his grandparents.) We’re fortunate enough to find someone with experience with children with Autism, coupled with the fact that the Monster is going to be out of the house for most of our time away, as he’ll be at camp from 8 AM to 5 PM each day.

Still, we’re trying to make it as easy as possible for the sitter, so the wife is making her all kinds of papers that talk about what passes for normal around the house.

Continue reading →

Changing Gears

Posted by Dad Enough

It’s unusual when I’m home for a day and none of it has anything to do with the Monster.

Of course, my morning did start off with getting the Monster off to camp. Because I did not have to be at the office, I did most of the work for a change at getting him up and going. This is usually a two person job – me in the kitchen packing his lunch and getting breakfast on the table, while she’s getting him dressed, lotioned, and his bag packed. Continue reading →

Signal-to-Noise

Posted by Dad Enough

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that the doctor yelled at me again about my weight, and added my blood pressure onto the list to boot. Since then, I’ve been working a lot more on trying to be healthy.

As those who follow my tweet feed know, I’m walking somewhere between 3.5 and 4 miles a day. (Depends on if I’m jogging at all, if I get started earlier rather than later, and generally how I’m feeling vis-a-vis breathing any particular morning.) I’m also doing a few other things to try to bolster my health in general, like drinking more water and trying to (further) cut my food intake, since we all know that upping output and lowering input is the only way to really lose weight. Continue reading →

Blessing or Curse

Posted by Dad Enough

I’ve seen a lot of carrying on this week about Toni Braxton’s new book, most specifically to the snippets that are being distributed far and wide about how she saw her child’s Autism as ‘punishment from God’. A lot of it has been handwringing in the tune of “how can people feel that way”, as if such thoughts make someone a bad parent.

On the other side, I hear a lot of folks expressing the viewpoint of “God gives special children to special people,” and the outcry against that point of view. Continue reading →